Five Months Post-SCAD: Progress, Anxiety, and Finding Balance

I’m now five months post-SCAD. I’ve been taken off beta blockers (woohoo!), and for the first time in months, I’m starting to feel a bit more like myself. My energy levels have improved significantly—I’m back in the gym tackling more challenging weights, and I’ve returned to running. But despite the progress, there’s an undercurrent of anxiety that I can’t quite shake.

I’ve become hyper-aware of my body, constantly checking the data from my wearables—my Oura ring for sleep and recovery, and my Garmin watch for exercise. While these tools are helpful, the data they provide can be a double-edged sword. Recently, my heart rate variability (HRV) has been all over the place, and my devices frequently report that my body is in a “stressed state” for most of the day. My heart rate has also become unusually reactive, spiking during simple tasks and climbing alarmingly high during exercise, even when I feel completely fine. It’s frustrating—and anxiety-inducing—when the numbers don’t align with how I feel.

Yesterday, I decided to try a different approach. I woke up feeling energized and ready, so I laced up my shoes and headed out for a run. My goal? Tune out the data and simply enjoy moving. No time or distance targets—just running by feel.

Since my SCAD, I’ve been running with one key metric in mind: keeping my heart rate below 140 bpm. But recently, my heart rate has been creeping higher, forcing me to take more walking breaks. It’s frustrating because I feel fine—steady breathing, I can hold a conversation and have no chest pain or tightness—but my watch tells a different story. Even running at a super slow pace, my stats come back discouraging. My Garmin labels my runs as “tempo” (7:45/km is not tempo!), claims I spent time anaerobically (I didn’t!), and suggests I need hours—sometimes days—of recovery.

This disconnect between how I feel and what the data shows makes it hard to trust myself. Am I pushing too hard? Or am I overthinking it? I don’t want to overstress my heart and risk a recurrence, but I also know I need to exercise to keep it healthy. If I slow down any further, I may as well be walking!

This question isn’t limited to running. The general advice post-SCAD is to lift lighter weights for more reps, but that goes against everything I’ve practiced—and taught—over the years. Women in midlife need to lift heavier weights to build and maintain muscle. I’ve scaled things back, avoiding one-rep maxes and explosive powerlifting movements, but every time I pick up a more challenging weight, that nagging voice in my head asks, “Is this safe?”

The truth is, no one fully understands SCAD. Is it caused by stress? Hormones? Pushing too hard? All of the above? Current research suggests that stress and hormones play significant roles, but the statistics on recurrence—anywhere from 5% to 29%—leave me uneasy.

Then there’s the “Training Status” data from my Garmin. For the past two weeks, it’s been telling me I’m “strained.” Strangely, I don’t feel strained. My training load is apparently optimal, but my HRV status indicates accumulated fatigue, and I’m advised to give myself more recovery time.

I’ve noted that my HRV has dropped significantly since I stopped taking beta blockers. Is this just my body adjusting? Looking back at my historical data, I noticed that the last time my Garmin flagged me as “strained” was the day I first experienced symptoms of SCAD. You can imagine how hard it is not to feel anxious about that!

My wearables keep telling me I’m “stressed,” but I genuinely don’t feel stressed. I have a good life: a supportive family, I work part-time doing something I love, which energizes rather than drains me and while I’m perimenopausal, my symptoms are manageable. Yet my body seems to be telling a different story.

I’ve gained weight. Whether it’s from medication, reduced activity, or simply aging, my body has changed. My once flat(ish) stomach is now round, my bum has noticeably grown, and my boobs are larger and uncomfortably so. While I’ve always felt fairly happy in my skin, these changes have brought some unexpected body image wobbles.

Knowing the importance of relaxation, I’ve worked on improving my bedtime routine—fewer screens, more books—I’ve even started doing nightly meditations, which have helped me sleep better. I know I should try to incorporate short meditations during the day, too, as they’re incredibly grounding and calming. But between kids on school holidays, work ramping up, and a puppy needling attention, finding those moments of stillness doesn’t often happen.

Daily walks, should be a chance to unwind, but are less calming and restorative thanks to an enthusiastic puppy who thinks every person or animal he meets might be his next best friend. He’s learning, but right now, our walks feel more chaotic than calming. Still, despite the chaos, I don’t feel stressed.

So here I am, five months into this journey, still figuring it all out. Recovery after SCAD isn’t linear. It’s a balancing act between rebuilding strength, managing anxiety, and learning to trust my body again. Some days feel like progress, while others feel like setbacks. But I’m slowly learning to accept that this is my new normal, and navigating it is a process—not a race.

Health + Happiness

Jen